Beautiful Diaster
by we-will-not-fall-down
Summary: How could something so beautiful be so broken?
1. The Beautiful Boy

Clare Edwards was always alone. Whether she was wondering the hallways at school, sitting in the back of the classroom, or walking around the town, she was always by herself. Everyone in school was nice to her, and she was polite in return, but that was the end of their relationship. No one was her friend, nor was anyone her lover. It seemed as if she was living her life completely alone.

Now Clare knew that it wasn't always like this, but the students at Degrassi High School did not. Clare knew that she used to be popular and loved by everyone at her old school, Jacks High, but here she was a loner. It wasn't as if no one wanted to befriend her-in fact, it was quite the opposite. Everyone wanted to be her friend, but she kindly pushed people away before they got the chance. If one thing was clear it was this; Clare Edwards works by herself.

When she was nine, Clare lost everything. She lost her loving mother, her little sister, and her baby brother to some robber with a gun. Clare was at a friend's house when this happened, keeping her alive while her family, gone. She was forced to move across the country to live with her only living relative, her aunt Becky. She despised her aunt. It wasn't as if her aunt wasn't a nice person, but they just did not see eye to eye on things. When Clare felt the tragic loss of her family, she promised herself one neither thing- that she would never love, nor care for anyone again. She never wanted to feel that heartache that she felt when she lost everyone. She had abided faithfully by that rule until one year, her sophomore year in high school. It was the year she met _him._ It was the year everything changed.

"I can't believe I still have to spend three whole years in this school," thought Clare to herself. She looked around at her new English class, wondering how many of these moron's would actually do something with their lives. Her guess was about a quarter. She rolled her eyes as girls ran up hugging each other, gossiping about the new kids in school. As if Clare didn't have enough to deal with already, now she most likely had to sit next to one of these blonde idiots. And the worst part was there was nothing she could do about it.

Just as she was thinking a way to harm one of these blondes, a new student walked in. Just to call him that would be an insult to him. He had dark hair, was wearing all dark clothes, and wearing slight black eyeliner. In her eyes, he was beautiful. Apparently, the blonde bimbos did not agree. "Look at his eyes!" Clare heard one of the girls whisper. "Look at his jeans!" She heard another say. Clare could not help but feel sorry for the beautiful boy, so she walked up to him and smiled.

"Hello. I'm Clare Edwards. If you haven't noticed, this class is full of brainless idiots who cannot think for themselves." She paused her speech to give a quick glance at the girls, who were gossiping as if nothing was happening. "Yeah don't expect to get anything out of them. What's your name?"

"I'm Elijah. Elijah Goldsworthy. And if you don't mind, I'd really rather not talk to someone who thinks their above everyone else." And just as if he had politely asked her to move, he walked past Clare without a glance back.


	2. Remembering the Past

As Clare watched this new boy walk away from her, she started to become angry… really angry. Who did this new boy think he was? Nobody was rude to Clare Edwards. So she decided to tell him off, and in the future, she would make his life a living hell. She walked toward him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around quickly, as if he had been expecting her to confront him.

"Yes?" He spoke without any feeling in his voice; Clare had never heard anything like it. In fact, it kind of reminded Clare about how she probably sounded when she talked.

"Well, I would just like to point out that it really isn't very polite of you to be rude to someone you don't know. For all you know, we could have one day ended up married and you ruined it with your rudeness." She took a breath, and was about to begin rambling again before she looked into his eyes. They were filled with so much sadness that she immediately stopped talking. She continued to look into them, they were beautiful. They had a look in them that said he would rather be anywhere but here, and with anyone but these people. The look she wore every day of her life. She paused before finishing with "But I'll forgive you for now. Just don't ever make the stupid mistake of being rude to me again." Finishing with that, Clare walked proudly back to her seat. Before she sat down, she glanced back at Elijah, who continued to look at the ground with that pained expression. She groaned, but felt obligated to go over and see if he was alright.

"Umm... Excuse me? Elijah? I hate to be annoying… but I was wondering if you're alright. Believe me, I don't really care all that much, but you just look so sad. I know the feeling; I feel it all the time." She didn't know why she was telling him this, or, more importantly, why she was saying it in this nonchalant tone. She was acting as if she had complimented his shoes or something.

Elijah looked up at her and answered "First off, I don't even know you so I don't understand why I would tell you what's wrong. Secondly, you have no idea what kind of sadness I feel. What happened to you that's so terrible? Broke a nail this morning? Couldn't go to that big party last weekend? You're the same as every other girl, pathetic. I have problems, and I'm not going to waste my time listening to you whine about your terrible life."

As soon as he finished his sentence, Clare was instantly sent into a flashback. It was not unlike the sentence her mother had said to her when Clare had asked about going over her best friend's house. Her mother had said no, and Clare, being a whiny brat, kept complaining about how life wasn't fair, and that she should just be able to go over Izzy's house.

_"Clare Edwards, stop complaining I said you cannot go and I mean it!" Clare's mother yelled as she continued making dinner for that night. But Clare, being a persistent little girl, kept trying. _

_ "But Mommy, please can't I go? I've cleaned my room, helped Kat with her homework, and if you ask me I really feel as if I deserve to go. Please Mommy!" The nine year old Clare was giving her mother a sad look, as if she was pleading. _

_Clare's mom started saying no again, but then realized Clare was right, she did deserve this one little thing. So she told Clare she could go, which made Clare very happy, and she rushed upstairs to put on her jacket and sneakers. When she came down the stairs, her mother loaded her brother and sister into the car. Clare got in the back seat, and her mother drove to Izzy's house. When Clare stepped out of the car and started to walk towards Izzy's door, she ran back to the car and gave her mother a quick kiss. "I'll love you forever Mommy!" Clare's mother smiled, and held her daughter in a tight hug. _

"_I'll love you longer, Clare Bear. To the moon and back! No matter how many arguments we get into, you have to always remember that, alright Clare?" Clare agreed, and skipped to her friend's front door. Before entering the house, she turned around and waved to her mom. Her mom smiled and waved back._Little did tiny Clare know that this would be the last time she would ever see her mother alive.

Clare pulled herself out of the flashbacks, trying to stop her eyes from filling with tears. She looked at this boy, and realized, somehow, that he was like her. That he had lost someone that he loved, and that was why he was like this. She couldn't go against her promise, so she started to walk away. As she did so, she turned around and looked right at Elijah. She whispered the words "_I understand"_ before turning around and walking gracefully to her seat.


	3. Changing the Rules

Instead of listening in English class, Elijah could not stop thinking about what Clare had said to him. At first, he was angry. She most likely had no idea what he has been going through for the past year and a half. After anger, came acceptance. Maybe, just maybe, she had gone through something too. Although, it was most likely not as terrible of an experience as he had gone through, maybe it was that bad to her. "Whatever I don't even know her, and I'd like to keep it that way." Elijah thought to himself. As he thought this, he knew he was lying to himself. He would like to get to know Clare very much, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. He could tell in her eyes, she was one of those people who thought they didn't need anyone in their lives. But, that didn't mean he wouldn't apologize and try to become friends with her. What could go wrong, right?

As Clare heard the bell ring that dismissed the English class, she lingered in the classroom, taking extra time to put her books in alphabetical order. She had to avoid Elijah. That was the only way to keep her promise. She could instantly see herself and him connecting, and she knew that couldn't happen. So, when she saw that Elijah wasn't leaving without her, she reluctantly walked up to him. He was looking at her with a look different than before, not an annoyed look, but an apologizing look. "Well," she thought, "here it goes."

"I'm really sorry for not believing you had problems, and basically being a dick for no reason. I don't even know you, and you don't deserve to be treated like that by some stranger." When he finished his apology, Elijah looked up at Clare hopefully, but his hopeful feelings were only to be crushed by her response.

"Well, Elijah, that's very nice of you. I really better get going though; I can't stay in this classroom forever!" She started turning away, but Elijah stopped her. He wasn't going to let it go that easily. When she turned around and looked at him, his eyes were gleaming with tears. Clare instantly forgot her promise; she had to figure out what was wrong with the closest thing to a friend in this school.

"Elijah… are you alright? I don't mean to accuse, but it looks as if your crying." As Clare said this, she walked towards him, instantly decreasing the space between them. 

He looked at her, and instantly felt ashamed at himself for crying. His parents had sent him to a different school, thinking he was ready to go back, and he didn't want to ruin it all with one little outburst. He choked back the tears that he knew Clare had seen, and started to think of excuses for why he was crying. When he thought of one, he looked up at her and said "Yeah, I was crying. And tomorrow, I'll start singing tragic love songs at the entrance of the school, proclaiming my love for you. Face it, Clare. Your imagining things." As he finished, he looked up at her to see if she believed him. He couldn't tell by the facial expression she wore, so he rolled his eyes at her and walked away.

And with that, Clare found herself thinking about beautiful Elijah more and more. She thought of the promise almost as often as she thought of him. It was a difficult decision to make, but she knew that she couldn't face this world alone for much longer. Until she cracked, though, she would continue to be a bitch to Elijah. It was what needed to be done. It had been three days since their discussion in the English room and they hadn't said a word to each other. Unfortunately for Clare, and fortunately for Elijah, this streak wouldn't go on much longer.

When Clare walked into English class on Thursday morning, she saw Elijah sitting in her seat. She rolled her eyes and approached him, a look of pure annoyance on her face. She decided to completely ignore her, and, being the most stubborn person on the face of the earth, she walked across the room and sat in _his _seat. That way, his plan to get her to talk to him would fail epically.

"Shit, she outsmarted me." Elijah thought to himself. He thought he had found a foolproof way to get Clare to talk to him, but she had thought on her feet and outsmarted him. He felt annoyed, and, also, very attracted to her. No girl he had ever known would have thought for themselves, they would have just pleaded with him to get out of their seats. Elijah walked over to Clare and smiled hugely at her. She returned this smile with a grimace, and turned her head away from him.

"Clare! Listen to me. I can tell by the look in your eyes that you don't want to talk to me, so I'll make this short and sweet. I think you're really pretty, Clare, and funny, and I would just really like it if we could be friends. I'm not asking you to marry me or anything; I just think it'd be cool to have one friend in this dump of a school." He finished his offer by giving a puppy dog face.

"Dear God, this is going to be more difficult than I thought" Clare thought to herself. She knew she couldn't resist him much longer. "_Well_," said a little voice inside of her head, "maybe you can change the promise's terms a little. Maybe you need some friends in your life. As long as you don't have any boyfriends, it wouldn't be breaking the promise completely." When she finished thinking, she looked at him carefully, before replying, "Elijah, I think it'd be cool if we started over. I don't have a single friend in this school and I could really use one. But, I'm not blind, I also see you checking me out every thirty seconds, and just so you know, I don't do boyfriends. I can't. I usually don't do friends, either, but I'll make an exception just this once." And when she finished, Clare felt elated. She was finally going to have a friend!

"First off, now that we're friends, it's Eli. I only introduced myself as Elijah because I didn't know you yet, and if I hated you, I didn't want you referring to me as a name I actually like. Secondly, don't flatter yourself, Edwards; I have never checked you out. I've only been admiring your outfits. Since when have pink flowery skirts been made for teenagers and not grandmothers?" As he finished this, he hoped he had not offended her. Her first look seemed that way, but then she smiled.

"The same time eyeliner was made for boys and not girls," She laughed to herself. He couldn't help but laugh along with her, it was a good comeback. Now the only thing he would have to do was fight off the feelings of wanting to kiss her and everything would be alright. "Yeah," he thought to himself, "Easier said than done."


	4. Breaking a few Rules

Ever since the day Clare changed the rules, everything in her life changed. Everything she did revolved around Eli. He would drive her to school in the morning, they would eat lunch together, and after school, they would go hang out at the Dot. After the Dot, he would usually drive her home. Basically, he was her whole life. They were best friends.

The rest of Degrassi was kind of confused by this. Why was mysterious Clare Edwards suddenly welcoming a new friend? And, more importantly, why was this new friend some dark, twisted-minded emo dude? Basically, they were anything but happy for Clare. Clare, on the other hand, couldn't care less about what her peers thought. She was so happy to finally have someone to confide into, that she ignored the whispering and laughing the two of them had to endure while walking down the hallway together.

Like it was said before, for Clare everything was going good. For Eli, everything was going wonderfully. Not only did he have a friend in this new school, but he could feel himself falling for this best friend. The only problem was that she wasn't a girl who wanted a boyfriend. The plus side to this situation was that he was _very_ good at persuading people.

About three weeks after their newfound friendship, Clare and Eli were walking into school, laughing about something they had both saw on television the night before. Eli wasn't really focusing on their conversation. He was focusing on trying not to pull her into his arms and kiss her. So far, he had managed to do this fairly well, only slipping a couple of times. Those times he managed to pull off saying he had fallen or lost his balance, but he thought maybe Clare knew what he was trying to do anyway.

Today, he knew he wouldn't be able to last much longer. After all, they had been friends for three weeks, and things were great between them. She loved his sarcasm; he loved her positive outlook on things. There was one boundary that he had not brought down yet, something he was planning on bringing down today. So, when Clare started heading towards English class, Eli pulled her aside. "So, Clare, I was thinking today we should totally just ditch English. I know you're not the one who would usually do something like that, but I don't think I can sit through another lecture on Romeo and Juliet. How dumb can these people be that they don't understand it? It's a tragic story, not rocket science. So, anyway, what do you think?" As he finished his question, he realized he was nervous. Not nervous that she was going to reject him. In fact, he was more nervous that she would say yes, and then he would have to do what he promised himself he would do.

Clare thought about what Eli asked her. She definitely agreed that she didn't want to sit through another day of talking about _Romeo and Juliet_,but she was afraid if she spent too much time alone with Eli then he might get the wrong idea. Actually, she was starting to get the wrong idea. She was starting to see him as more than a friend, which scared her. She _would not _edit the rules again. That editing had been a onetime thing. "Oh screw it," she thought, "if he tries to start something just remind him that you two are just friends and that's all you'll ever be." So, she began answering his question. "That sounds like—" She stopped talking as a blonde cheerleader, Jenna, and a big football player, K.C., started walking by. They were pointing and laughing at Clare and Eli. Eli may have been able to deal with that, but she was downright tired of it. She marched right up to the two people and said "Excuse me, but is there something funny I missed? Because as far as I'm concerned, nothing Eli or I said was that funny. So I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave us alone. Kay thanks for talking! Bye."

As they walked away, whispering yet again, Clare felt a bit of shame bubble inside of her. She had been handling the whole being made fun of thing so well, and now the one time she slipped it had to be in front of Eli? "Oh well," she thought to herself, "I don't need to worry about that now. I have to worry about answering his question. Oh right! Eli. I should probably get back to him now." So she started walking back towards Eli, who was wearing his ever so famous smirk on his face.

"Geez blue eyes you scared me! One second you were all nice and friendly, the next you pounced." He smiled as he said this, to make sure that she knew he was being sarcastic, but he didn't have to bother. Not many people fully understood Eli's sarcasm; Clare was one of the few people who did. "So," he said to Clare, "I believe you were in the middle of saying something like 'OH, I could never miss school, Eli how dare you suggest I do such a thing?'"

For some reason, this ignited a fire inside Clare's chest, and she looked up at him with a look that was not unlike the feeling she was feeling inside. "Let's go." She replied, and grabbed his arm pulling him out of the school.

They stopped at a bench, and they sat down. "Dear God we're awfully close. What I would give to just reach out and kiss her." Eli thought to himself. Well, he had to continue on his mission if he wanted to become closer with her. So, he took a deep breath, and waited for the worst. "Clare, I've wanted to ask you something since the day I met you, but I didn't know if it would upset you then. In fact, I still don't know if it will upset you, but now that we're friends I feel like I can ask you. After all, you're my best friend and I feel like I don't want to have any secrets between us. Are you alright if I ask you a few questions?"

As he finished this, Clare instantly felt uncomfortable. He was going to ask her on a date, or ask her to be his boyfriend, or whatever it was called these days. Not only did she not want to break her promise, she had a weird feeling that if he did ask her, she wouldn't have enough will power to say no. Nevertheless, she felt as if she couldn't say no. "Sure Eli, that sounds fine."

He looked at her with a really focused look and began, "Clare, I was just wondering… is there anything that happened to you in the past? Something to put your walls up so high? Something that made you feel… alone? Something that made you feel—" He paused while saying this, this was more difficult then he thought it would be. "Something that made you feel the way I feel every day?"

And suddenly, nothing else existed but his lips. His lips were all she could see. She tried to get enough courage to answer, but instead, she could only look at his beautiful lips.

Eli saw her staring at him, and he was a bit confused. Why was she ignoring the question? But his thoughts were cut off as Clare reached up and started kissing him fiercely, and before he even thought about it, he was kissing her back.


	5. The Past is Finally Revealed

Clare didn't have a clue what she was doing, considering she had never kissed anyone before, but somehow this just felt right. He didn't pull away, which meant she wasn't as bad as she thought she would be. In fact, he was kissing her back, and she felt so happy. She hadn't felt so happy in ten years. It was a nice feeling. After what felt like the right amount of time, she broke away. She looked into his eyes, and saw something there. It looked like he had betrayed someone he loves by kissing her, but she also saw happiness. She decided she'd better do the speaking first.

"Eli… I'm really sorry about that. First off, I'm sorry that I'm sending you mixed signals, it's most likely confusing, and secondly, I'm also sorry for the pain I'm causing you. I know there's something you're keeping from me, but that's okay because I have a secret too. Maybe it would be best if they both stayed secrets for now. This was not what she wanted at all, but she felt like maybe it would ease the look in his eyes. It didn't help one bit. So she looked at him and waited for a response.

"Clare, it's not like I don't really like you, because I do. In fact, for the past three weeks I've been trying to avoid kissing you because I knew you didn't like me that way. Or, at least, I _thought_ you didn't like me that way." He couldn't help but pause to smirk here, which made her, hit his arm and roll her eyes. He kept going. "Clare your hiding something huge from me. I'm also hiding something from you, but I'm willing to tell you my secret if you're willing to tell me yours. The only thing is, it's not a happy ending so if you're not in the mood to see your best friend cry, then I suggest we tell them another time.

She looked up at him, he did look rather upset. But she needed to know what happened in his past if they were going to overcome this, even if it meant she had to tell him about her life. She was going to do it. "Eli, just so you know, my secret has no happy ending either. In fact, it doesn't even really have a happy beginning. But I'm going to tell you because you're my best friend and I don't want anything to come between us. So here it goes.

One day, when I was nine years old, I went to a friend's house. Just for a play date, nothing special. As I skipped up to her front door, I turned around and waved to my mother. She waved back and drove away. That was the last time I ever saw her." She paused, she wanted to see Eli's reaction, and he immediately tightened his grip on her hand. He was expecting something like this. She knew he could tell she had lost someone. "My mom was supposed to pick me up at seven thirty. Once eight fifteen rolled around, I started to get angry. 'Why was she so late picking me up? Why wasn't she here yet?' those thoughts were all running through my mind. It didn't even occur to me that something could have happened to her. At eight thirty, I went up to my friend's mom and said 'Can you drive me home? I'm really sorry but I don't know what I'm supposed to do.' She smiled, and told me she would love to. As we started pulling into my neighborhood, something was wrong. All the neighbor's lights were on, and it looked as if everyone was home. In my neighborhood, everyone had little children so by eight forty five everyone was sleeping, but not that night. We pulled up near my house, only to see a dozen cop cars surrounding it, and it being taped off. I was curious, what had happened that caused so many people to come over? I got out of the car and tugged on one of the police men's shirt. 'Excuse me mister. I was just wondering what you all are doing at my house. And do you know where my mommy is? She was supposed to pick me up at my friend's house over an hour ago.' As I said this, I saw grief in his eyes, and I was confused. Why was he sad? He looked down at me and said 'Sweetheart, I don't know how to tell you this, but your mother… she's dead. Someone killed her and your little brother and sister tonight. We assume it was a robbery, but there's no way for us to be sure.' Suddenly, it felt like my whole world was crashing down. My mother _couldn't_ be dead, neither could little Josh or Kate. Who would have the heart to kill little children? Well, I was wrong. They were dead. That's why I live up here now, because I don't have any other family. I live with my aunt who I don't get along with, and every day I wonder, 'if I didn't go to Izzy's house that day, would I be dead also?' I'll never know. 

So I promised myself that I would never love somebody again, not a friend, not a boyfriend, no one. But then _you_ came along and I couldn't help breaking the first rule. 'I need one friend,' was what I was thinking. But then I realized I was attracted you and I just kissed you back there and so I don't know, maybe one day I'll end up breaking another rule. But that's my secret Eli. I'm alone in this world. I don't have anyone who loves me. My mom's dead, my dad's some drunk who left us when I was five and my aunt thinks Im crazy. I truly am alone."

As Clare said this she saw a look go into his eyes, a protective look. He looked at her and said, "Clare, you're not alone. No matter what happens between us I will always be there for you. Whenever you need me, I will be there. Don't ever say you're alone again, because I care about you, Clare. You're my best friend." As he finished talking, he saw tears fall silently down her cheeks. Tears that had wanted to come out for so long. He turned away, he was starting to get choked up, but didn't want Clare seeing him like that. She pulled him towards her and hugged him tight.

When they pulled away, Eli looked at her and said, "Okay Clare, I'm guessing it's time for my story. When I was fourteen I had a best friend, Julia. She was pretty, funny, smart, and was into all the same stuff I was. I had developed a major crush on her. One day, while we were hanging out in the park, I told her that I liked her a lot, more than just friends. She paused for a second, and then a huge grin spread across her face. She said that she liked me too and hugged me. After that, Julia and I were inseparable. We were partners at school, hung out after school, and hang out on weekends. We were slowly falling in love. Her stepmom was crazy and abusive, so she liked to sleep at my house a lot. One day, we were fighting. It wasn't even about something important; I think it was about some stupid history project. Anyway, I said things I shouldn't and she slammed the door of my room and left. She started riding her bike home, but she never made it. She was hit by a drunk driver and was killed. I always wonder 'what if I had stopped her from leaving? What if I just agreed to do the project her way? What if we kept fighting for ten more seconds? Would she still be alive? Would I still be with her? Would I even live here?' Your story was different Clare; you didn't kill your mom or siblings. But for me it's different. It's my fault she's dead. I killed her, Clare." And the tears he had been fighting all day finally started pouring out of his eyes.


	6. Torn Between You & Myself

Clare looked at Eli, not knowing what to do. Should she comfort him? Should she let him calm down before she said anything? Should she leave him alone with his thoughts? All of these thoughts were running through her head. She felt so sorry for Eli. Seeing him, sitting there, it was one of the saddest things she had ever gone through. This coming from a girl whose whole family died. She decided to comfort him, but not say any words. She wrapped her arms around him and let him cry into her shoulder for what could have been hours, but was most likely about ten minutes.

When he finally calmed down, Eli looked at her. Really looked at her. She was nothing like Julia. Julia was dark, gothic, and Clare was light and happy. How could he fall for two completely different girls? He didn't understand himself. Despite all of his confusion, he started talking again. "Clare, I understand if you can't even be friends with me anymore. After all, who wants to be friends with a killer? But please, don't hate me. I couldn't deal with another person hating me. I can deal with everyone else hating me, but not you."

Clare looked at him with confusion, and he immediately felt terrible. She was going to despise him. He just knew it. Who would agree not to hate someone who killed a girl? No one. So when these words came out of her mouth, Eli was sure he was dreaming. "Hate you? Eli, I don't hate you. It wasn't your fault. She could have waited outside, or gone up to reconcile with you. I am not saying it's her fault, because it's not. It's that drivers fault. People should not drink and drive, it kills people every day. But listen to me Eli, I do not hate you. I don't think you could ever do something to make me do that. You're my best friend.

Eli was so confused. When everybody at his old school had found out, they had shunned him. It was hell. He had to endure hell every day. No one would talk to him; no one would look at him, of course, unless it was to torture him. They didn't even realize that losing Julia was hard enough for him; they had to make him regret he had ever met her. These people he had known for years decided to shut him out, but this girl he hadn't even known for a month was comforting him. She's different. That's the only explanation. "You can never, ever, let her go," he thought to himself.

"Clare, you have no idea how wonderful those words sound. I'm a bit shocked, I was shunned at my old school when everybody found out, and it was a horrible experience. But, I'm ready to move on from it. I'm ready to start fresh, and deal with all of my problems. I don't think I can talk about anything so depressing anymore, so, do you mind if I change the subject? How about I change it to how you couldn't keep your eyes, or your lips for that matter, off me earlier." He finished with a smirk, and Clare realized the conversation, for now, was over.

She rolled her eyes, "You are so conceited! But your right, I couldn't. I don't know why. I have liked other boys before, but I just got over it. I just felt like I had to kiss you or I was going to explode. I know, I'm pathetic." She smiled, and he tilted his face towards hers, leaned forward, and kissed her yet again.

"For someone who had never kissed anyone before, Clare was not that bad of a kisser." Eli thought. She could definitely use some practice, and he would be more than happy to help her. After all, it was his duty to help her. And if they had to kiss everyday for a century, well, then that would be what they would do.

They eventually broke apart, and Clare looked at him. "Eli, I'm scared. What about my promise? I don't know what to do. I really like you. I like you more than I would have ever thought possible. But, I also made myself a promise, and I'm one of those people who keep their promises no matter what. I'm torn between you and myself." She looked down as she said this, not wanting him to misunderstand. She wanted to be with him. She wanted it so much. But she also wanted to keep her promise to herself.

"Clare, no matter what, I'll always be here for you. If you decide to just be friends, as difficult as it may be for me, I will do that for you. If you decide to be with me, well that would be wonderful. But I completely understand if that cannot happen. I'll always be here, as a best friend, boyfriend, or whatever. I'm here, Clare, and I'm not going anywhere." She smiled at him, what other reaction could anyone have to these kind words?

He was so sweet. And it was his sweetness that caused her to say, "Well, I already kind of broke the promise by being friends with you. So, why not break it a bit more? But I have to warn you, I'm not too good at this whole dating thing. Considering I've never done it before, I expect you to cut me some slack."

It was like Christmas had come early hundreds of times, and he had won the lottery. It was a wonderful feeling. Clare Edwards, the stunning, witty, intelligent girl was his. Well, not officially. He had to ask the question. Despite her previous answer, he was still terrified to ask it. He took a deep breath and began, "Clare Edwards, I really like you. I think you're funny. I think you're beautiful. I also think you're brilliant. Would you please consider going out with me?"

She smiled; he was just so damn cute. "Elijah Goldsworthy, I would love to. We'll be the schools most hated couple; the gothic emo boy and that chick who doesn't talk to anyone. We're basically gonna get ripped apart every day. I hope you understand, Degrassi students can be brutal. I've seen it. Hell, I've endured it. Ever since the students realized I wanted nothing to do with them, they've been horrible. But if you're willing to go through that, then I'm willing to be your girlfriend." She smiled, he was just so beautiful. She got nervous as he paused before he answered, was he going to turn her down? Would she really going to have to be just friends with him after all the deciding she had done?

He laughed; she honestly was making sure he was okay with being ignored. "Let's do this, Clare. Let's make this school hate us even more than they already do." And with that, she ran into his arms. He spun her around. It was like a movie. Everything was perfect. With Clare in his arms, he was invincible. Nothing could go wrong. Or at least, that's what he thought. Never has a person been more wrong.


	7. Partner Up!

**I'm aware that this chapter was terrible, but I had to set up the next chapter, which will be much better, and much more interesting. Review please? (:**

For Clare, everything was great. She was finally happy, she had a great boyfriend, and she also had someone to go to when her aunt was being a bitch. For Eli, everything was perfect. He hadn't been this happy since Julia. Clare was his escape from the world. No matter what he would tell her, she would always understand. She never jumped to conclusions, and always helped him work things out. That was one of the many things he loved about her.

Everybody was a bit confused by the change in Clare Edwards. She used to look depressed all the time, now she was always smiling. She used to talk to no one, now she was talking to that Eli kid every second of the day. The students got really freaked out when someone saw them kissing by her locker. Clare Edwards, with a boyfriend? She told everyone she didn't date. Either way, the school was annoyed. Really annoyed. They tried to be her friend, and she shut them all out. Now some new goth dude comes in for two months and their suddenly madly in love? They just didn't understand.

"Eli, I don't wanna go!" Eli was pulling Clare across the hallway. Apparently, she did not want to go to English today. However, they had skipped again last week, and if they got caught again they would be in so much trouble. When they finally got to the classroom, Eli pointed to Clare's seat. She rolled her eyes and sat down, resting her head on his desk.

He smiled at her, she was so irresistible. He brushed some hair out of her eyes, and said, "So, do you want to do something tonight?" He blushed; he didn't know why he was still shy about asking her out. It was weird. Everything else, all the things he told her, he was fine with saying, but this, he was always afraid she would reject him.

She smiled, and his insecurity went away. "Of course I do! What do you have planned Mr. Goldsworthy?" He laughed, the only people who called him that were his mother and teachers, but when Clare said it, it was kinda, _hot. _ Not kinda hot, really hot, actually. He pulled her face upward and kissed her softly. Despite all of the students rolling their eyes at them, he felt at home. She was where he always wanted to be.

They pulled away, and she was blushing, of course. "I have a very special night planned, but it is most definitely a surprise. I'll pick you up at seven." She rolled her eyes; she wanted to know what he had planned. She was getting ready to argue about it, but the bell rang signifying that English class was starting.

"Now, we're going to start a project, and we will be working in partners." As soon as Ms. Dawes said this, Clare looked at Eli quickly, making sure he didn't partner with someone else. As soon as she did this, she felt stupid, realizing there was no one else who would want to partner him anyway. Ms. Dawes continued, "I will be assigning the partners."

As Clare listened to her teacher read off the partners, a knot in her chest was forming. She was scared, scared that she was going to get partnered with some stuck up cheerleader, or jock. "Elijah Goldsworthy, you will be partnering Jenna Middleton." Clare let out an annoyed breath, Jenna was the school slut. She would be all over him the entire time they were working. "And last, but not least, Clare Edwards you will be working with a new student, who will be arriving tomorrow. His name is Adam Torres."

Eli gave Clare a nervous look. After all, they were both partnering people they didn't know. After class, he caught up with her. "What's up with those English assignments? I think we're old enough to pick our own partners." She couldn't help but laugh, he made a good point. She was still worried, though. Jenna was known for stealing boyfriends.

Eli noticed how tense Clare was acting, and he wondered what was wrong. The partners were annoying, but not the end of the world. "Clare, what's wrong? You're not still worked up about the whole English partner thing are you?" She looked at him sheepishly, and he immediately relaxed. He was afraid something else was wrong. "Clare, don't worry about it. We have different partners, it's no big deal."

"I'm aware, but Eli, Jenna's known for stealing boyfriends. It just so happens that she's also single at the moment, it's like she was meant to take you away from me. I'm just trying to distance myself now, that way the heartbreak won't hurt that badly." She got choked up a bit at the end, and Eli walked in front of her, stopping her from walking.

"Are you serious, Clare? I'm a dude who's obsessed with death; she's a power squad cheerleader. I don't think we'd be a perfect match, do you? Besides, you're the one for me. I would never do something like that." He finished, and hoped desperately that she would listen.

She smiled, "You know just what to say to make me feel right. So I'll see you tonight, at seven?" Eli laughed, she was over it already. That was the great thing about Clare; she didn't dwell on things in the past. The only problem was, she was partnered with some guy he didn't even know, some dude named Adam. He was probably some buff jock that would make her feel beautiful. He was skinny and short, so that wasn't something he could do very well. He had to ignore the jealousy, for her.

"Of course. Now, I've gotta get home. I'll see you later." He kissed her lips softly, and started to walk away. He then remembered, she had no idea what the attire for tonight was. "Oh, and you should probably wear something nice. Not too nice, but we're going somewhere nice. I'll see you in a few hours." He smiled and walked away, ignoring her screaming questions at his back.

Clare finally got home, and she went straight up to her room. What was she going to wear? She looked through her clothes, and after fifteen minutes of searching, she found the perfect dress, shoes, and bag. She got in the shower and started getting ready. It was six thirty by the time she was completely ready, so she decided to go downstairs and pass the time by watching some television.

She head Eli's hearse pull up, and she ran outside to meet him. He looked nice, he was wearing a nice shirt and tie, and she was about to get into the car when she noticed he didn't say anything. Not even hello. "Eli, are you alright? You look a bit," she paused to find the correct wording, "out of it."

He still didn't say anything, and this worried her. After about thirty seconds, he found his voice. "Clare, you look… wow. Your hair, it looks so, wow. And your dress," he paused, studying the way it clung to her curves so beautifully, "It's beautiful. You're beautiful." She blushed insanely, and he smiled to himself.

"You look good too, Eli. Really good." He started driving, and she had no idea where he was taking her. She didn't really care, either. As long as she was with him, everything was wonderful. They pulled up to an Italian restaurant, and Clare couldn't help but smile. He was so sweet.

They walked in, hand in hand, and sat down. Eli was studying the menu, but Clare was looking somewhere else. This was too weird. There was no way that could be him, not after all these years! Yet, he looked exactly the same. It had to be him. He was here, and he was looking for her.


	8. Surprise, Surpise

_**So I was planning on bringing Adam in this chapter, but the restaurant scene took a lot longer than I expected. He will most definitely be introduced next chapter. Also, this chapter is a bit intense, just a warning. Please review, it makes me smile (:**_

He was here, and he was looking for her. Clare had no idea what to do. She hadn't seen him since she was a little girl. Eli noticed Clare's discomfort, and commented, "Clare, are you alright? Ever since we got in here you seemed a bit distant. If you want to go somewhere else, I completely understand." His face fell a bit when he said this, and Clare felt terrible. He had planned this romantic night for them, and she made him think she didn't appreciate it.

"No Eli, it's not that! Not at all, this place is beautiful. It's just, I see a man over there. A man I used to know. And I'm afraid to go over there, because I know he never wanted to know me. Not really know me, anyway. But I'm also afraid of not going over, because if I don't, every day I'm going to wonder to myself, 'what if I did go over? Would my life be different now?'" She looked at Eli, hoping he would understand, but it didn't look as if he did. "Maybe I should be a bit more descriptive." Clare thought to herself. "Eli, that's my dad over there. When I was younger, he left my family. He's part of the reason I have no one. Excuse me, part of the reason I had no one. I don't know if I should go over there and say something. Things, well, they really didn't end on a great note. He um… well he did some pretty terrible stuff to me before he left. Stuff I'm sure he regrets. I just want him to know that if he's sorry, I forgive him for those terrible things. I'll tell you about them later, I don't really feel like talking about them now. I think I'm gonna go over, are you okay with that? I'll be back soon, and then we can finish our beautifully romantic date in peace."

He smiled; of course he was okay with it. Clare walked over to the table her father was sitting. "Hello, sir? I can't help but notice you look a lot like someone I used to know when I was a little girl. You see, you look like my father. I haven't seen him since he left, and I wasn't sure if it is you or not. If it is you, Dad, it's me, Clare. If it's not, this is really freaking awkward." She finished, and awaited his reply patiently.

"Clare? What are you… what could you possibly be doing in this fancy Italian restaurant? What are you doing in California? How old are you now, fifteen?" Clare's father mixed all of these questions into one, and she knew it was him. She had finally met her father yet again. She was a bit terrified, giving past circumstances, but they were in public. What could he pull in public?

"Yes, dad, it's really me. I'm having dinner with my boyfriend, Eli. I moved in with Aunt Judy, mom's sister. I'm sixteen years old now." She answered all of his questions briefly, not wanting to stand her any longer. "Coming here was a mistake," she thought to herself. She couldn't talk to him without bringing back memories that usually brought her to tears.

"Sixteen? Geez, where does the time go? Boyfriend? Aren't you a bit young to be dating boys? Which one are you here with?" Clare's father looked around the restaurant, but there were plenty of boys around her age sitting by themselves. Apparently, this was a good time to go to the bathroom and leave your date looking like an idiot, considering that was what it looked like all the girls had done.

"That one, in the red suit jacket, over by the statue, that's Eli. No, I'm not too young. He's the only friend I've ever had, and I really like him. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to get back to him now. It was… interesting seeing you tonight, Dad." Clare started to walk away, but her father touched her arm, trying to get her to stay. That little touch brought Clare back into memories. Terrible, tear jerking memories.

"_But Daddy, I don't wanna play this game! It's no fun whatsoever." Clare Edwards was talking to her father and he wanted to play a game he made up with her. "Daddy, can you sing me a song so I can go to sleep? I don't feel like playing anymore." Clare's dad said yes, and started singing her a lullaby._

"_Clare, darling, are you getting a bit warm? It's too hot in this house; I have to remind your mother to turn off the heat. Here, let me help you take off your pajamas. Don't worry, Clare, I'm your Daddy you don't have to be embarrassed. Now, if mommy asks don't tell her you did this, she might get mad at Daddy for spending so much time alone with you baby girl." _

Clare had to stop thinking of this memory, even though there was much more to it, and many more like it. She was four years old; she didn't know anything was wrong. She thought it was normal. She thought she was just being a normal four year old girl. Little did she know, what he was doing was very much illegal, and very wrong. Clare ignored her father's grip and walked toward Eli, tears running down her cheeks.

"Eli, if you ever see him, please tell me so I can avoid him. I never want to talk to him ever again." She cried into his shoulder, and he was a bit confused. Other than what looked like awkwardness, their conversation hadn't looked that bad. It actually looked like he was surprised to see her.

"Clare, I'm a bit confused. You looked fine over there, what's wrong? I know he left your family, but maybe he just wasn't in love with your mom anymore, and he couldn't be around you without thinking about her." Eli spoke with such certainty that Clare hated to burst his bubble. Yet, she felt as if he had a right to know what happened in her past.

"Eli, you must have misunderstood me. When I was younger, my dad left because my mother kicked him out, not because he wanted to leave. And she didn't kick him out because she wasn't in love with him anymore, or because he was having an affair. She kicked him out because he was sexually assaulting me. He would have done it to my baby brother and sister too if she hadn't came home early one night and saw what he was doing to me. I was little; I didn't know anything was wrong. I thought that was normal, but I was quite off." She finished and looked at Eli to see his reaction. His facial expression hadn't changed. In fact, it didn't even look as if he was breathing. He was sitting, staring into space, avoiding her gaze carefully.

"Clare, I… I… I don't know what to say. I'm disgusted. That is terrible. I don't understand how he could take advantage of a little girl, especially his own daughter." Eli finished, and sat there holding Clare while she cried. They left the restaurant; they would reschedule their perfect date. Instead of spending the night romantically, Clare spent the night crying into Eli's chest. Eli spent the night holding Clare, and doing his best not to let any tears escape his eyes.


	9. Meet Adam

_**Short, suckish chapter. I had to set up the story for the next chapter, with everything that's going to happen with Eli and Clare. I also wanted to make Adam/Eli have a friendship moment thing, but what can I say, I ramble WAY TOO MUCH. Kind of like what I'm doing now. I know this parts not very good, but can you please review anyways? Thanks so much!(: **_

"Eli, come on. We're going to be late for English, AGAIN." Clare was walking quickly through the hallway, dragging Eli behind her. He wasn't complaining, he was just glad she was happy again. It was the Monday after the restaurant incident, and she hadn't been the same all weekend. She had still been sweet and kind, but she had kept to herself more than she usually did.

They walked into English with about two seconds to spare, and quickly rushed toward their seats, which were across the room from each other. Ms. Dawes told them to get with their partners, and Clare searched the room for an unfamiliar face. She noticed an awkward boy sitting in the front. He was rather small, but he seemed friendly. Clare walked up to him. "Hi, I'm Clare. I'm assuming your Adam?" She smiled and waited politely for his answer.

"Yep, I'm Adam Torres. I just switched from a school a couple of miles away. So, are you my new English partner?" He smiled; Clare thought he seemed really nice. She could definitely see herself being friends with him in the future. He seemed like her kind of friend.

"Yep, that's me. Clare Edwards, your amazing new English partner. So we're doing a project on Romeo and Juliet." She smiled again at Adam, and noticed Eli glaring at her. Maybe she should cut it out with all the smiling, she didn't want to start a scene with Eli and Adam.

Adam and Clare got along great; he kind of reminded her of Eli. He was sarcastic and funny, but also really sweet. She really liked him, and she hoped Eli would too. Maybe the three of them could be friends. The bell rang, signifying the end of the period. Clare started walking toward Eli, and then realized she should introduce Eli to Adam. "Eli! Come over here for a second." Eli walked toward Clare and Adam. "Eli, this is my English partner, Adam. Adam, this is my boyfriend Eli." She smiled at the two of them.

Eli shook Adam's hand. "Nice to meet you, Adam. Like Clare said, I'm Eli, Eli Goldsworthy." Adam smiled, could it be possible that he could already be making friends? This was a lot different than his old school. Although, he realized that these two nice people didn't know his secret. He planned to keep it that way for as long as possible. "Hey Adam, Clare and I are going to the Dot after school. You wanna tag along?" Adam smiled, this was wonderful.

"Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks for inviting me! I've gotta get to math class, but I'll catch up with you guys after school! Later!" Adam was smiling as he walked away, and Clare looked at Eli. He wasn't usually this nice to strangers, so she was a bit confused.

"Not that I'm not glad you didn't invite Adam, because I am, but why did you invite him? Your usually a jerk to people you don't know. Including me, remember the first day I met you?" Clare stopped talking and tried her best Eli voice, "I'd really rather not talk to someone who thinks their above everyone else." She stopped her impression and smiled, letting him know that she didn't hold the past against him. He couldn't help but smile too, he had been a jerk to Clare when they first met.

"Well I just think that Adam kid looks like he could really use some friends, and considering we've got none but each other, I say we go for it. I mean, what's the worst that can happen, right? He seems like a cool guy, and I wanna give him a chance." Eli smiled, and Clare could tell that although he cared for her, he would really like a guy to talk to sometimes. She understood, sometimes she felt the same way too but with a girl. Maybe she would talk to Alli Bhandari, she seemed pretty laid back.

"I know what you mean, Eli. I'm glad you're thinking the same way I am on this. So, what time are you picking me up tonight?" One of the perks of dating Eli was his car. He basically drove her everywhere, and she really appreciated it. Otherwise, it would be back to biking her way around every day.

"How about I pick you up at 5:15ish? I'll find Adam later and tell him to meet us there at 5:30. And as for after," he dropped his voice to a whisper, "My mom won't be home till tomorrow morning, shes staying at a friend's. And my dad, well, he has to work till about two in the morning."

Clare blushed, she was quite shy about things like this. "I'll be there, Eli." She whispered back. He pulled her to the side of the hallway and kissed her, in front of everyone watching. She heard people laugh, and comment on stupid things, but she couldn't care less. She was with Eli, and she was happy. She had a new friend, Adam, and her life couldn't' get any better. She almost forgot about the little run in with her father. _Almost_. As she was kissing Eli, she remembered seeing him, and the memories it brought back. She shuddered and pulled away. He seemed to know what she was thinking, because instead of questioning what she had done, he just pulled her into a tight embrace and stroked her hair comfortingly. He wanted to help her through all of the troubles she was going through.

"Let's ditch seventh period, who needs it anyway? I want to spend some time alone with my girlfriend. Some time to talk, considering we won't have much time to do that tonight." He smirked at the end of this sentence. God, for some reason she found that smirk so damn attractive. She found everything about him attractive. Suddenly, she couldn't wait for seven that night. Little did she know that the night wouldn't go exactly as planned..


	10. Spilled Sprite

_**I feel like this is moving soo slowly. So if you want me to end it, just leave a comment. I don't think I'm going to, I have big plans for this story, but I'm just making sure. Oh, and whoever thought Degrassi sucked last night should let me know in a review! (: Just saying. Oh and it switches between point of views throughout the whole thing, but that's why I write in in third person!**_

* * *

"Eli, stop it now! ELI, STOP IT." Clare was laughing hysterically as her boyfriend tickled her. He knew she was one of the most ticklish people in the world, and he was using that knowledge to make her go insane. He was also laughing, and he couldn't help but feel happy. In the past week, everything with Clare was drama-filled. He didn't have a problem helping her through things, but he had almost forgotten the sound of her beautiful laugh. They were sitting on a bench, the same bench where she had told him about her mom, the same bench where he had told her about Julia. This was the same bench that the two had shared their first kiss.

"Fine, fine, I'll stop. But it's gonna cost you." She rolled her eyes and kissed him slowly. To his surprise, she deepened it. They were in public, on a bench. Clare wasn't usually one for PDA, so this was a bit confusing to Eli. He opened his eyes for a brief second and saw an elderly couple staring at them. He reluctantly pulled away, and nodded his head toward the couple, which caused Clare to blush immediately. He smirked; she was so shy that everything made her blush.

The two were drinking coffees, discussing the most random things, and Clare couldn't be happier. She felt as if the past week was all depressing things, but she was glad she could spend this time with her lovely boyfriend. She laughed as he took her hand and led her back to Morty. They were both laughing. This was something she had missed terribly. "Shit." She heard Eli say. "It's almost time for us to meet Adam, and Morty won't start." Clare rolled her eyes; his car seemed to not work more than it actually worked.

"Eli its right down the street, we can just walk. It's not a big deal." She was right, but he felt weird leaving his car where he wasn't going to be. Still, he didn't want to make Adam wait, he wanted to be friends with him. So, the two walked to the Dot, hand in hand, laughing about whatever the hell they wanted to laugh about. It was such a carefree walk that Clare was a little sad when they got to the Dot, because that meant it was over.

They walked in the door and saw Adam, who looked as if he had just gotten there. Clare and Eli walked up to Adam, Clare still laughing from their walk. "Hey guys! I was actually just thinking about what to get, considering I don't know what's good here and what isn't. What do you think?"

Eli answered before Clare even had a chance to. "Well, they have good burgers. Don't listen to anything Clare says, she'll tell you to get a salad with no dressing or anything, because it's the healthiest choice on the menu." Clare hit Eli's arm, and smiled. "That's not true! I was actually going to suggest a burger as well, don't judge me Elijah."

The three walked to a table, and Clare couldn't help but smile. She was so happy. Eli and Adam were getting along great, and she and Eli had just had the best day ever. She looked at her watch, it was four fifteen. A little less than three hours until she and Eli were going to have their alone time. She couldn't wait, but she was also happy being with Adam.

After hours of jokes and laughter, Adam told them he had to get going. Clare noticed Eli's sprite was way too close to the end of the table, but it was too late. As Eli moved his chair, the sprite landed on his laugh. This caused the three of them to laugh so loudly that they got a stern look from the manager. "That's my boyfriend, Eli Goldsworthy. He's so smooth isn't he?" We still couldn't stop laughing, and Eli was trying to clean the mess up. It was truly a hopeless effort; he wasn't having any success whatsoever.

Adam said goodbye and left, leaving Clare and Eli alone at the table. Clare helped Eli clean up his mess, and the two left hand in hand. They were sitting in Morty when Clare looked at the time, seven. They pulled up to Eli's house, and she couldn't help but notice that there were no cars in the driveway and no lights on inside the house. His parents trusted him too much. They walked in Eli's house, and Eli broke the silent saying, "Do you want anything to drink?"

"What, so you can spill more Sprite on your pants? I think I'll pass on that one." This caused Eli to laugh slightly. God, she loved that laugh. The urge to kiss him was too much for Clare to handle, so she walked slowly over to him. His scent was all around her. He was sitting on a kitchen chair, and she sat on his lap. "What do you want to do know, boyfriend?"

Suddenly, his lips were on hers, and there was no time for thinking. He was everywhere. His scent was intoxicating, his lips so soft and smooth, his hands running through her brown curls; she loved him so much it hurt. He ended the kiss, but only to take her hand and lead her up to a room that she assumed was his. Before she brought her lips back to his, she noticed there was no way this could be Eli's room. The walls were light blue, and it was spotless. She had never been in his room before, but she knew it wouldn't look like this. Either way, that wasn't important at the moment. The only thing that was important was Eli and being with him.

God, she was so beautiful. Eli thought to himself as she brought her lips to his once more. He ran one of his hands through her beautiful hair, the other across her back. She was perfect, and she wanted to be with him.

Clare didn't want anyone but Eli, she never had and she didn't think she ever would. But she had never wanted him as much as she did right now. She wanted to be closer to him. She moved her hands from his hair to his shirt, slowly unbuttoning each button. He responded to this action by pulling her blue shirt over her head, and then bringing his lips back to hers yet again. His lips moved to her neck, and she couldn't be any happier. That is, until the worst thing that could have possibly happened, happened.

"Look at my Clare-Bear, growing up so fast!"


	11. Mystery Man

_**I don't update in like, forever, and when I do you get this terrible, short result. I don't know why I just couldn't get myself to write this story! I promise the upcoming chapters won't be as boring or short as this one. This will be ending soon, not only because I seem to be having difficulty writing it, but because the ending I planned is coming near! I promise it won't be some boring typical ending. That's all I'm going to give away. So yes, again, I apologize for not updating in so long, I'll try and do better next time. **_

"Look at my Clare-Bear, growing up so fast!" Clare jumped and quickly pulled on her shirt. She had no idea who was saying this to her. Her first thought was her father, but that wasn't his voice whatsoever. Nope, it was most certainly not her dad. She wondered who else it could be. Eli looked at her, but instead of matching her confused expression, his face was wearing an expression of amusement. She wondered what could be funny about some stalker. A tall figure emerged from the doorway, and Eli's amused expression turned straight into his well-known smirk. The boy had to be about 19 or 20. He was really tall, blonde, and built. He basically looked like the typical surfer guy from a movie. Clare was still lost as to whom this was, and Eli _finally _explained. "Clare, this is my brother, Thomas. Thomas, this is Clare."

"Yeah, I know, the Clare you never shut up about whenever I get a chance to talk to you. Now come over here and give your big brother a hug! Eli walked over to his brother and hugged him, but Clare was still a bit creeped out. After all, this guy didn't even know her, and he was commenting on how fast she was growing up.

"Clare, I'm really sorry if I scared you. I didn't know I would be walking in at such an," he paused and smirked, that same smirk Eli always wore, "interesting time." Eli's smirk grew even bigger than his brother's and Clare blushed a deep shade of maroon. She didn't normally do things like that, and the one time she did, Eli's brother had witnessed it.

Clare smiled at the brothers, and responded, "That's alright, I'll get over it. Don't worry about giving _me _a heart attack. Nope, just worry about keeping yourself entertained." Thomas looked uncomfortable, until he saw Clare's smile signaling that she was joking. Thomas laughed, and Clare couldn't help but like the other Goldsworthy. He seemed sweet, despite his twisted sense of humor. Thomas smirked again before saying, "Well, this has been sufficiently awkward. I'm gonna go now and let you two continue where you left off." He winked at the two of them, and walked away. Eli started laughing and Clare started to blush.

"Why didn't you tell me you had an older brother? I had no idea who the hell he was!" Eli rolled his eyes at Clare's attempt to be forceful and answered, honestly, "Well, Clare, I had no idea you wanted to know. I told you everything important in my life, but I left out the part where I have a brother. It's not that I didn't want you to know, it's just that it didn't seem important in my life story." Clare sighed and Eli rushed to finish, "Okay, so I didn't want to tell you. I don't know why. Maybe because every time people find out I'm related to Thomas, they start comparing my accomplishments to his. For example, if you didn't notice, he's big and built. Also blonde, which girls seem to find more attractive. He's been beating me at everything ever since I was born. I love him, but I just didn't want you to compare me with him."

Clare thought about what Eli said for a moment and then replied, "Do girls really find blondes more attractive? Me? I'm more of a brunette kind of gal." As soon as she said this she brought her lips back to Eli's. He intensified the kiss and pushed her against the wall. "God, he's so freaking amazing. I don't know what I did to deserve such a wonderful boyfriend." Clare thought to herself. After what could have been ages, they broke apart, and he pulled her into a tight embrace. "Clare, I have something to tell you, but I'm not sure you'll know how to react. Well, Clare, I love you. I love you so much it hurts." Clare couldn't believe what she was feeling; Eli loved her! She quickly replied, "Oh, Eli, I love you too! I didn't know if it was too soon to say it, so I wasn't going to, but I do. I love you so much." He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her.

Ten minutes later, they were watching a movie, when Clare spoke her thoughts aloud. "You know, we're kind of adorable." Eli looked at her with a confused look on his face, and she explained, "Well, I was just thinking about how HILARIOUS it would be if we nominated ourselves for cutest couple. I mean, we wouldn't get any votes because, hello, we don't have any real friends, but it would be a good laugh. Think about what the yearbook editor's face would look like if one of us handed in the slip with _our_ names on it. It would be _epic._" Eli laughed, and thought it was a great idea. There was no way they would actually win, which was good, because he didn't want his bad boy reputation being ruined by being nominated for cutest couple. "Sounds like a plan, Clare." She laughed and kissed his cheek. "Hey Eli?" "Yeah?" "I love you." "I love you too, Blue Eyes." She smiled before saying, "Will you say it again?" He sighed and replied, "I love you, Edwards. I really do." She smiled and replied, "You know, I'll never get tired of hearing that. He smirked and replied, "Well that's good because I'll never get tired of saying it."


	12. Two Rebels

_**Losing. All. Inspiration. I. Apologize. For. Not. Updating. And. For. This. Sucking. **_

_This story is officially in Clare's POV. I can't do third person, I always mess it up. _

He loves me. I just can't stop thinking about when he had told me he felt the same way. It was the most wonderful sound in the entire world, hearing him say he loved me. It was just so amazing. I smiled as I got out of the shower, getting ready for yet another day at school. Honestly, I didn't mind that place anymore. Before Eli, it was torture. I went through every single day with no one. But now that I have him, I just have to get through dealing with people glaring at us, which is much better than being alone if you ask me.

I looked down at my wristwatch and noticed that if I didn't leave soon, I would be late for class, so, I got my back, got on my bike, and headed towards school. Well, that's what I did until a black hearse showed up in my driveway. I grinned as he explained. "Hey, Blue Eyes. Need a ride?" I nodded excitedly and got in his car, smiling the entire time. "Well, someone's cheery today. What's on your mind, Edwards?" Before I could respond, he decided to answer his own question. "OH, I get it; I'm on your mind. I know I'm sexy, Clare, but please stop smiling like that, it's a bit creepy." I rolled my eyes and hit him on the arm. He smirked and the ride became silent.

We pulled up at Degrassi with plenty of time to spare, and we decided not to waste it. He pulled me into a kiss and I responded instantly, my lips moving in sync with his. He plunged his tongue into my mouth, and I moved my fingers into his hair.

That went on for a while, until I noticed the time. "Eli! We're going to be late for class!"

He smirked and replied, "Clare, let's skip class today. Just this once! Come on, for me!"

"'Just this once' was what you said the _last _time we skipped class. Come on Eli, let's GO." I dragged him out of the car and saw him roll his eyes at me.

We walked into Degrassi hand in hand, ignoring the eye rolls coming at us from all directions. He walked me to my first period class, which caused me to smile, he was just too sweet.

I sat in class, kind of wishing I had taken Eli up on his offer to skip class today. History was just _not_ something I was interested in, nor would it _ever_ be something I would _ever _be interested in. Let's face it, I was not a history person. I was gazing off into space, only to notice a black haired boy signaling for me to leave the class. I asked to go to the bathroom and quickly left to meet Eli.

"What do you want? I was really enjoying myself learning about…" I paused and realized I had _no_ idea what we were learning in that class. That wasn't the Clare Edwards way! But I guess it was the Clare Edwards when her life features Eli Goldsworthy way.

"Shutup Clare, you hate history, don't lie to me." I smiled sheepishly and he pulled me in for a kiss, whispering, "No more lies." I smiled against his lips, happily kissing him back. After a few minutes, we broke apart, not saying anything. I just pulled him closer to me, letting him know that I never wanted him to leave.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear, "I love you, Clare. You know that right?" I nodded and he smiled, pulling me closer to him. Moving closer to him, I realized how intoxicating his smell was. It was sweet and warm and inviting, everything I loved about him.

Shit. Class. I had to go back, I couldn't just disappear. But I didn't want to leave Eli's embrace. Not now, not ever. I grudgingly pulled away from him and told him I had to get back to class or Purrino was going to murder me. He looked disappointed, but nodded and walked back in the opposite direction. I have no idea if that boy _ever_ goes to class.

I walked into class, having not the slightest idea of the amount of time I was gone. Apparently, it was a long time, because the teacher was glaring at me and told me to see him after class. Great, now I was going to get a detention, and it was _all_ Eli's fault. I was going to kill him for being so… being so… irresistible? I guess he really didn't do anything but be adorable, which is what caused me to stay in the first place.

When the bell rang signifying the end of class, I slowly walked up to Mr. P's desk. He looked at me and asked, "Clare, if you're going to skip my class, don't show up here first. Detention, after school."

I quickly tried to think of an excuse, but realized there wasn't one. I had missed three quarters of my history class. So, I nodded and left the room, looking for Eli or Adam. The first one I saw was my wonderful boyfriend.

I walked up to him and slapped him on the arm. He gave me a look that said, 'what gives?' "I have detention for skipping over half of history thank you very much Mr. Goldsworthy."

He rolled his eyes and smirked. "Relax, Clare. It's just a detention. I got one this afternoon for mouthing off to Simpson this morning. So at least you'll be with me, right? A lot of times they leave the room, so maybe we could have a bit of fun."

I smiled to myself as he said this. Suddenly, detention didn't seem like such a bad thing after all.


	13. Honesty

_**I have writer's block. It's a terrible case of it, considering I haven't been able to write anything even close to decent in weeks. I was kind of hoping that it would just go away and I would get my inspiration back, but I was wrong. Therefore, I didn't update this story, because I didn't want to upload anything less than my best. But, that failed, because it's been awhile since I've updated, and still no inspiration. So, I apologize for that.**_

If there was one thing I hated, it was detention. But, sitting next to Eli, stealing occasional kisses, it really wasn't so bad. I mean, would I rather be doing something else at the moment? Of course. But, there were definitely worse places I could be. Example: Home. I hated home.

Once Mr. Simpson said that we were free to go, Eli grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the classroom, ignoring the stares from our classmates. I giggled and kissed him softly, but, with Eli, there was no such thing as a kiss ending that way. I felt his tongue brush against my lips, and I allowed him entrance. "Mr. Goldsworthy. Ms. Edwards. Please, keep your hands off each other before you get _another_ detention." I pulled away from Eli and blushed a deep shade of red, considering Mr. Simpson had just told us off for making out. Eli, on the other hand, just smirked and pulled me out of Degrassi.

"So, what are you up to tonight? I really don't feel like going home, so I was thinking maybe we could see a movie or something?" I waited his answer patiently, but, when I didn't get one, I looked up at him. He had an expression of guilt on his face, and I wondered what could possibly be up. "What's wrong, Eli? If you can't hang out, its fine, I mean, it's not like it's the end of the world or anything."

He looked over at me, and smiled a bit. "Yeah, Clare, I'm really sorry, but I can't hang out tonight. I have to work on my English project with Jenna." He got into his car, and I did the same, but I started to think. If I remembered correctly, the English project was short, and had only taken Adam and me an hour to finish. Eli and Jenna had spent three hours last week working on it. That just didn't add up.

"Umm.. you two aren't finished yet?" He shook his head, and I frowned. Something wasn't right here. "Oh, that's weird, cause Adam and I finished in like an hour. But I mean, I guess you do have Jenna, and she's probably slowing you down, so that would explain the extra time it has been taking you, right?"

He looked relieved and quickly replied, "Yeah, if it weren't for her stupid ass questions, I would have been done a while ago. But, hey, what are you gonna do? She's stupid, and ditzy, and asks those questions that just shouldn't be asked." He pulled up in my driveway and leaned over to kiss my cheek. "So, I'll see you tomorrow, right?" I nodded, and started to get out of the car. "Call me later tonight, okay? I'll let you know all of Jenna's stupid questions." I giggled and nodded, before walking into my house.

I ran up to my room, ignoring my aunt's questions about being late, and closed the door. Something had been seriously up with Eli. Why was he being so mysterious? I mean, if he was actually just working on his English project with Jenna, then why did he always have that nervous look on his face. That look that said he was hiding something. He was hiding something, and it was my job to figure out what that something was.

I decided to pass the time until it was time to call Eli with homework. But, a person can only stare at a page of math equations for so long. So, I got in the shower and thought of Eli. Had I made a mistake in trusting another person? Or was I just being paranoid? Was there really anything to worry about?

At around 7 o'clock, after a quick dinner of frozen pizza, I decided it was time to call Eli. Whether my suspicions were true or not, I had promised to call him, so I was going to call him. He answered after the first ring. "Hey, blue eyes. I was afraid you forgot about me." I could practically see him fake pouting on the other line, which caused me to giggle.

"I could never forget about you, Goldsworthy. So, how was the project? Did you two finally finish?"

"No, we're going to need some more time." Some more time? It was a two page paper, for God's sake, how much freaking time did they need? He had obviously noticed my annoyance, because he quickly added, "I know, how freaking annoying right? It's like she doesn't even know that I have a life and don't want to spend all of my time editing her work. But, hey, what's a guy to do, right?"

I relaxed, realizing that I was just being paranoid. Eli would never do anything to hurt me. "Yeah. Well, maybe tomorrow, before you have to go hang out with Jenna, we could maybe go to the Dot? Grab something to eat? That is, unless you land us in detention again!"

I could see him smirking on the other line, and, soon we fell into our usual easy conversation. But, something was definitely missing. It was something that was there in the beginning of their relationship, but was gone now. I didn't know what it was, but I was terrified to find out. A part of me, a very small part, in the back of my mind, kept screaming that honesty was the thing missing. Eli was lying about something, and I was just too terrified to lose him to ask what it was. But, the rest of me ignored that part of me, and continued to wonder what it could be.

After all, Eli loved me. He would never do anything to hurt me, at least, not intentionally. And I was just being that paranoid girlfriend of his… right?


	14. The End

_**I'm sorry for not updating. I don't have any excuse except for that I forgot. Sorry about that. Anyways, there will only be one or two chapters out of this one. It may have seemed rushed, but that's because I'm leaving to go away in like… twenty minutes and I have yet to finish packing. I just love you guys THAT much that I had to update before I go. So, here's one of the last chapters of my very first story.**_

Two weeks after the cheating scare, (okay, so it may not have seemed like a cheating scare to you, but it was sure one to me) our English projects were due to Ms. Dawes. That was good, right? That meant that Eli could stop spending time with that bottle blonde cheerleader. So, on the morning after we handed in said projects, I was not expecting her to be at his locker, talking to him. Jealousy boiled in the pit of my stomach, and I walked closely, trying to hear what they were saying. After all, I could just be paranoid, and they were just talking. Maybe they had become friends through this project. And maybe he liked being around her because she was funny and nice. I mean, anything was possible, right?

But what I saw wasn't just two friends. As I got closer and closer to Eli's locker, her hand slipped into his hair, and she looked like she wanted to jump him right there. I was frozen with fear, not knowing what to do. In the past few months, I had grown so… so… so _dependent _on Eli. I had never even thought about what could possibly happen if we ever broke up. But, maybe I was about to find out, because, I did _not_ like how close Jenna was standing to him. Although, he didn't seem to mind the closeness of their bodies one bit.

I walked even closer to his locker, and cleared my throat. Jenna jumped away from Eli and muttered something about having to go to the bathroom, before running off. Eli turned around slowly with an apologetic look on his face. I glared at him, waiting for an explanation, but he didn't give me one. He just kept staring at me, those big green eyes begging me to forgive him. It was too bad for him that I wasn't a sucker for the whole puppy dog face thing. "Eli, what the hell was that? She was all over you like you were the only person in the world. You've got some _serious_ explaining to do. Oh, and don't leave out any details, because, if you do, I will eventually find out. And I don't like liars, Elijah Goldsworthy. I don't like liars one bit."

He glanced around nervously; probably making sure no one was seeing him being yelled at by his girlfriend. Honestly, I didn't know when he started caring so much about what people think. It was like he was a totally different guy than the guy that I fell in love with. And I didn't like this version of him too much. "Well, Clare, Jenna came over to thank me for getting her a good grade on the English project. I know we didn't get them back yet, but she knows that it's going to be better than her usual work, considering she usually fails every single project. Then, she started saying things like how attractive I was, and how much she had started to fall for me throughout the couple of weeks that we'd worked on the English project together. I told her that I was happy with my girlfriend, meaning you, but she wouldn't listen. She kept flirting, and touching me, my hair, my back, anywhere she could get her hands on. I'm sorry if what you saw made you think that I was cheating, Clare, but, let's be honest with each other." He took a deep breath and looked at me with an intense gazed. I looked straight back at him, waiting for his suggestion. "I think that we should maybe take a break."

I stared back at him, making sure that this wasn't a joke. I was making sure that no one was going to pop out and scream "Belated April Fools!" right to my face, and then the two of us would laugh about it. He would tell me things like that he would never leave me, and we would both be happy. But that's not what happened. Instead, he kept talking. "We seem to be the only things each other have, Clare, and that can be great. But we're also only in high school. We both know that we're not going to get _married_ someday, and, the fact that we're always planning so far into the future, well, it scares me a bit. I love you, Clare, but I think that maybe, if we spend some time apart, you know, see other people, it will make us stronger in the long run." He looked up at me, probably to see my reaction to his words, but I gaurentee you my face was as blank as slate. I didn't know what to say, what to do, or even what to think. I was as frozen as a staute.

I had made myself a promise so long ago for a reason. Eli had been the acception to that promise. But he just broke my heart even further beyond repair. "You know what, Eli, we don't have to take a break. We can just be over for good, okay? Because we both know that's what you really want. When people say they want to take a break, it's just the nice way of saying they want the relationship to end permanently. It's okay, though, I'll save you the trouble of having to admit that to me. Two words, Elijah. We're. Done."

And with those words I ran down the hallway, tears filling into my big blue eyes. I could hear Eli yelling after me, but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. There was no way I could function without someone who cared about me, always right there. I mean, he had told me he would never leave me, so why did he want to take a break? He _knew_ how much this would kill me. He even knew about my promise. He had let me break it, and then, after he helped break my promise, he broke my heart.

I knew there was nothing I could do, now. I was outside of the school, walking around the town. I didn't know what to do with myself. I was terrified. This wasn't just the end of a high school romance. This was the end of the girl that high school romance had made. There would be no more happy Clare, no more sarcastic Clare, no more funny Clare. That girl was gone, just as the relationship was.

It scared me to think of these things, but to say them was _terrifying._ But, I knew that, if I said them, it would be real. To say things is to make them real. And I needed it to become real, because I needed to know that happy Clare was never coming back. So, as I took a step on the road, I whispered to myself, "The Clare you once were, Happy Clare, Funny Clare, Sarcastic Clare, _Eli's_ Clare, is gone."

While paying attention to such words, I didn't realize the cars speeding across the road. And, once I realized how close they were, I didn't really have the strength inside my head to try and stop myself. If it was the end of happy Clare, then it might as well be the end of Clare in general.

**_Oh, and sorry for the numerous amounts of updating in these past few days. I'm leaving so I wanted to update everything before I went!_**


	15. With or Without You

_**This chapter will be in 3rd person, because of things that will be made obvious once you start reading.**_

_**Oh, someone said in a review, that everyone was making Eli all bad now that he's like that in the show. I would like to point out that this story was a.) Originally planned for Jay/Manny, so it has nothing to do with the way they have been portraying Eli in the past few episodes and b.) The ending was planned before I even planned the beginning. That's the way I write… which is probably why the middle chapters suck so much in all of my stories. But, that's just the way it is. So, no, this has nothing to do with the new Eli we have been given. I still love him more than anyone(:**_

_**Also, if any of you need to vent about drop the world… message me. I don't even know what to say except that I will never lose faith in Eclare. **_

_**Oh! And, if you have any ideas for new stories, message me, because 3 out of my 4 stories are coming to an end! OH NO. WOW this author's note is long. I'm sorry. I ramble. So, here it is. Please enjoy the final chapter of "Beautiful Disaster"**_

_**If you know where I got Clare's aunt's name, I will .. Well.. I don't know. But I will love you forever. (:**_

When Eli had been told that Clare had been hit by a car, everything inside of him broke. His lungs broke, because they had forgotten how to breathe. His brain broke because he had forgotten how to think. And his heart broke, because he knew that he might not ever get to see Clare smile again. He would never get to be the one to make Clare smile again.

Sure, he had suggested that they take a break. But, it wasn't because he didn't love her anymore. No, it was exactly the opposite of that. He was afraid because of just how much he loved her. She was the only thing that was ever on his mind, and, when he was sleeping, she was the only person who occupied his dreams. And that scared him. After all, he was only sixteen, and Clare was only fifteen. Couples at that age didn't usually last for very long. So, he thought, maybe if they took a break, they would realize how much they needed each other and come back stronger than ever. But, his plan definitely did _not_ include Clare getting hit by a car.

At first, he thought that maybe Clare had done it on purpose. But, he knew Clare, and he knew that she wouldn't do something that dramatic. Or, at least, he hoped that she wouldn't. He hoped that she would realize that he still loved her, that he had wanted to take a break to make them stronger. But, he was told by the doctors that he would be lucky if she ever even woke up.

Two days after the accident, Eli was sitting in the hospital waiting room, with his big brother, Thomas. Thomas was the best person to have around in bad situations, because he could easily lighten the mood. He wouldn't joke around or anything, he found doing that as disrespectful, but he would just talk about things that didn't really require that much thought. This was exactly what Eli needed at the moment.

"And so I was thinking that maybe this summer, instead of buying season tickets, we could just get tickets to a few games, but get like, _really good seats_. Because, come on, Eli, we both know that we don't even go to half of the games anyway." Thomas was rambling on about, as usual, sports. Eli, on the other hand, wasn't really listening. He was too busy thinking about the fact that it had been two days, and Clare hadn't made any progress whatsoever. In fact, the doctors said that Clare had gotten worse.

Eli was also thinking about how badly broken Clare's aunt had looked in the past two days. If Clare even woke up, he knew that the two would definitely have a better relationship in the future, considering Clare was completely convinced that her aunt hated her. That obviously wasn't true.

After three hours of sitting there, Thomas was starting to run out of things to talk about, so he muttered something about running to the vending machines to "Get himself some grub". Eli nodded; completely thankful for the few minutes that he would get alone.

He was really glad his brother was here for him, but, he really just needed some time to cry on his own. He couldn't cry in front of his brother.

So, he was sitting in the hospital chair, head in his hands, when he heard a pair of high heels approaching. He didn't even think to look up until he heard his name being called. "Eli," the voice said. It was just his name. Eli looked up to try and find out who the mystery speaker was, but didn't recognize anyone near. He got up and followed the voice, and finally matched it to a tall brunette woman wearing a suit jacket and heels. This woman was otherwise known as Clare's Aunt Isabelle.

"Hi Ms. Lightwood, how are you?" Eli asked politely. Even though it was good to know that Clare's aunt really did care about her, it was still awkward having an actual conversation with her.

She laughed a bit at the awkwardness, before replying, "I'm hanging in there, Eli. And how are you, darling? I know this must be hard for you, considering how much time you and Clare spent together, and how close the two of you were. But she'll wake up. She's strong. She's so strong. She's oh so very strong." Now it seemed to Eli that Clare's aunt was speaking more to herself than to him, so he just nodded along every few minutes. That is, until a doctor walked up with a grave expression on his face. Suddenly, the world stopped.

"Excuse me, Ms. Lightwood, you're the guardian of the patient Clare Edwards, am I correct?" Clare's aunt nodded, looking terrified and alone. Eli had the urge to go over and comfort her, but he was frozen to where he was standing. This was the man that had the news about Clare. This was the man who could make him happier than he's ever been, or too depressed for words.

The man took a dramatic pause, and Eli waited for the answer desperately. He needed to know that Clare was going to make it through this, that she was going to be okay. "I think it's best if you come in her room for this, Ms. Lightwood. You're her only blood relative here, am I correct?" Clare's aunt began to nod, but then looked over at Eli, and noticed how impatient he looked. So, she shook her head, and replied, "That's Clare's brother, right over there. He can come in the room too."

The doctor nodded and called Eli over. They then followed the man into a room with light blue walls, and one hospital bed with about a million IV's attached to a single machine. Finally, after a dreadful silence, the man began to speak. "Clare is, unfortunately, in critical condition. I'm not one who usually makes assumptions, but my guess is that she won't make it through the night. I'm very sorry to be the one who has to tell you this, but you needed to know. I think you should say your goodbyes now."

Eli's heart stopped. He glanced at Ms. Lightwood, who had fallen to the floor, holding herself together as if she was physically broken. Eli, on the other hand, just stared, waiting for the punch line.

There was no punch line.

Clare was dying, and she most likely wasn't going to make it through the night. He walked over to her bed and took her hand, not even caring about all of the tears that were falling out of his eyes as he did so. "Clare, I refuse to say goodbye to you." he began, his tears soaking the sheets on Clare's bed. "You were the first friend I had at Degrassi. Not that I have very many, it's just you and Adam." He laughed a little, but it was without humor. "You didn't care about my emotional baggage, and you didn't care that I was always dressed for a funeral, you still loved me. You accepted me for who I was, even though I didn't fully accept myself.

I know our relationship wasn't perfect. I mean, it was probably the furthest relationship from perfection. You had so many issues, I had so many issues. You had said you didn't even believe in love anymore. I told myself that I would never be happy again.

But, somehow, those two unfortunate people found each other, and they fell in love." Eli stopped, unable to speak anymore because of the innumerable amount of tears falling from his eyes. He had never gotten to say goodbye to Julia, and, now he realized that it was much better that way.

He took his hand and brushed it along Clare's cheek, whispering how much he loved her. He didn't care that Clare's aunt was waiting to say goodbye, he would take as long as he needed. He put his lips to hers, but only for a brief moment. He pulled away and went to sit down in one of the chairs, letting Clare's aunt Isabelle finally have her turn.

After about ten minutes, Clare's aunt took a seat next to him and glanced up at him, wearing a teary-eyed expression. "Eli, sweetie, it will be so hard to be here when" her voice trailed off for a moment, and more tears filled her electric blue eyes. "When it happens." She finished, glancing at Eli nervously to see his reaction to the words she had just said.

Eli didn't have a reaction. He simply shook his head, and said that he wasn't leaving her here to leave, that she was going to wake up and tell him that everything was okay. "Eli, darling, I don't want to put you down, but honey the doctor said that's not going to happen. I know how much you want it to, but it's not. She's not going to wake up, Eli. Whether it's tonight or not, Clare will not be waking up. I just need you to know that, because I don't want you to get your hopes up any more than they already are. I know it's hard for you to accept these things, but it's just not going to happen, sweetheart."

Eli rolled his eyes at all of the childish names Clare's aunt had given him, and replied, "Ms. Lightwood, I don't mean to be rude, but you're not giving Clare very much credit. She's really strong, and she always outdoes the expectations given of her. I mean, how else would she have straight A's even though she acts like she'd be failing every class? How else would she be able to get through the loss of her parents at such a young age? How else would she…" Eli's voice volume faded out as he broke down, yet again, in tears. Instead of comforting him, or scolding him, Clare's aunt just gazed at him with pity, and said something about going to the bathroom.

Eli went over to Clare's hospital bed, and put his hand atop hers yet again. "Clare, I love you. And I'm so sorry for the things I did. I didn't mean for us to break up. I meant take a break, so that we could come back stronger than ever. I didn't mean for any of this to happen, Clare. Please wake up, so I can tell you all of this while looking into your beautiful pale blue eyes. By the way, I know where you get them from, now. It's your aunt. Although, I have to add that yours are much prettier." He paused and tried to collect himself, before continuing, "Clare, listen, I know that you might hate me, but, please, I need you to wake up. I believe you can do it, just open those beautiful eyes of yours. Even if it's only for a second, Clare, please. Please wake up, Clare. Clare, please don't leave me." He was sobbing, yet again, and, for the first time, one of Eli's tears had fallen onto Clare's cold, lifeless body. Suddenly, her heart rate began to pick up rapidly, and Eli glanced over at the monitor before screaming for a doctor to hurry up and get the hell in here, because something odd was definitely happening. Eli didn't know much about hospitals, but he had seen enough hospital shows to know that this could either be the end, or the very miraculous recovery. He was just hoping it was the latter.

Dozens and dozens of doctors ran in the room, along with Clare's aunt Izzy. She was crying, thinking that this was the end. Eli, on the other hand, didn't think so. He believed that his tears had done something to make Clare wake up. He admitted to himself that this was medically impossible, but, then again, there were other medical miracles out there, so why should Clare be any different?

After about an hour of working on her, the doctors left, saying that there was an unexplainable reason for her heartbeat going so quickly. But Eli knew. Eli knew that it was him. It had to be him.

So he went over to her bed again, and kissed her lips, softly, gently, but he put everything he was feeling into that kiss. He hoped that Clare feeling his lips against his would help her wake up. He was aware that he was acting pretty delusional, but that didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was Clare waking up.

And he was right. The pressing of his lips against hers did do something. Again, the doctors were all called in the room, but, this time, they kicked Eli and Clare's aunt out, saying they needed as much space as they could possibly have to try and revive her. Clare's aunt was lifeless as she walked out of the room. Apparently, she still believed that there was no way that Clare was waking up. Eli, on the other hand, had so much hope. It was a bit too much, actually.

The doctor's came out of the room, none of their expressions readable to Eli. He glanced at Clare's aunt, who was looking anxious and sad. He looked back at the doctors, who seemed to think that building up the suspense would be better than actually telling them the condition of that blue-eyed beauty lying in there. They turned to Ms. Lightwood, and whispered some words that Eli couldn't hear. Clare's aunt's facial expression didn't change, and Eli had no clue what was going on.

Ignoring all of the doctor's protests, Eli ran into Clare's room, desperately hoping that she was going to be sitting up, awaiting his arrival, but not really expecting it anymore. His belief in Clare was fake; he realized that as he was running into Clare's room. He had really believed in his mind that Clare wasn't going to make it.

As Eli put his hand on the doorknob, he realized that he would never, in the slightest bit, be ready to enter Clare's hospital room. Nevertheless, he slowly opened the door and walked inside..

**_There will, obviously, be an epilogue… although… I can't say that leaving it ending like that wasn't terribly tempting. I was actually pretty sure that was how I was going to end it... but then I realized that if I read a story that ended like that… I would be pretty damn pissed off because I didn't know the actual ending. Like Inception! Did anyone see that? The ending of that really bothered me. So, I didn't want to do that, therefore, I will be writing an epilogue. It will most likely be out some time later this week, but, I'm not making any promises. It might be next week, depending on how much inspiration I have to write this._**

_**You're the best if you review. Just saying (;**_


	16. Epilogue

v

**Wow. Where to begin?**

**I can honestly say that, even though sometimes this story and I don't get along, I'll definitely miss it. After all, it was my first ever story, and, no matter what, it will always be that. Wow. Look at me. I'm getting emotionally attached to A STORY. Oh Well.**

**Dedication time. Okay, well first, I'd like to thank every one who's reviewed. Seriously. Without you guys, seriously, I don't know. I just wouldn't have had any inspiration, and I couldn't have done it without you.**

**Okay. Specific Thank you time.**

**PullMeIntoTheDark- I know that you haven't been too hapy with my updates recently, but I still have to thank you. You've reviewed every single chapter since chapter one, and, no matter what, I'll always be thankful for that. So thank you, and I hope you don't hate me too much!**

**KitKat0219- Damn, where to begin? You've helped me an innumerable amount of times, and I don't even know what to say. I would have been even worse with the updates without your wonderful ideas and help. So I don't even know what to say besides Thank you. Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you. **

**DreamGreen16- Your reviews are SO sweet. And you always take the time to review, even if the chapters suck. So thank you so much!(: **

**Wow, I ramble way too much. So, here's the final chapter, and thank you all for being the BEST readers ever. I LOVE YOU. K. Well here it is:**

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Living his life without Clare was hard for Eli to manage. He missed everything about her, from her smile, to the way she always reacted to one of his sarcastic remarks. He missed everything.

Even his family missed her. Thomas missed walking in on them, Bullfrog missed making her feel awkward, and CeCe just missed the happy Eli that Clare had made him. She missed the Eli that didn't exist anymore; the Eli she assumed would never exist again. Not after losing Clare.

Eli walked into school one morning, around two weeks after the accident, hating the world. He wanted to hurt someone; he just needed to find a reason to do so. But, of course, the one morning he _really_ needed to let his anger on someone out, he was never given the opportunity, because, for some _odd_ reason, no one was coming up to him and being obnoxious this morning. In fact, the only person that even bothered making eye-contact with him was Adam, and he was Eli's best friend. No matter how much Eli's life sucked, he wasn't going to make it worse by lashing out his best and only friend… again.

"Eli, man, what's up?" Adam said, as he approached Eli in the hallways. Eli did his very best to put on a look that _didn't _say, "I really want to punch you in the face right about now." He wasn't sure how that plan worked out for him, but, at least he was even trying.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just wallowing in self-misery, the usual. Oh, and trying my best to _not_ murder everyone in this school." Adam sighed and nodded, before putting his hand on his best friend's shoulder. Eli knew Adam felt sorry for him, but right now, that's not what he wanted. So, Eli shrugged Adam's arm off, and stalked down the hallway, not even bothering to give his very best friend a look back.

While dealing with his self-hatred, Eli didn't even bother watching where he was going, and he ran straight into a person. He rolled his eyes and bent down to pick up his dropped books. "Watch where you're going next time, okay? Some people are just trying to walk." Eli said. He said this even though he was totally aware that the collision was completely and 100% his own fault.

"God, Eli, could you be any ruder?" Clare spoke, her words like ice. He cringed, because he hadn't realized who he had been talking to. If he had _known_ it was Clare that he ran into, well, he would have done a thousand other things. Like ask her how she was doing, or tell her she had pretty eyes, or drop to the floor and beg for her forgiveness. Yup, any of the previously stated would do.

"Clare, wow, I'm sorry, I didn't notice it was you. Uh, how are you? You look fantastic." Eli said, obviously rambling due to nerves. He didn't know what happened to his confident self. He guessed that, when Clare had dumped his ass once and for all, it just left him, kind of like she did.

"Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't be that rude to anyone. Then this conversation could have been avoided completely." She said, before rolling her eyes and starting to walk away from him. But he wouldn't let her walk away. He wasn't going to lose her. Not again.

"Clare, wait," Eli said, while pulling her arm back to him. "I'm sorry. I should never have suggested we take some time off. You're the one I want to be with, I was just afraid at _how_ much I wanted to be with you. I care about you so much, Clare, and the thought of you not returning the same feelings with the same strength, well, it terrified me. I imagined that I would get too close to you, depend on you, need you at every hour of the day, and, well, and then you would get tired of me. I had _no_ idea that the day I chose to say those _awful_ words would be the day that you would happen to get hit by a car. I'm so sorry. I just love you so much, and I'd do anything to have you back in my life again. Whether that's as a girlfriend or a friend, I don't care. Well, I mean, I'd obviously rather the first, but I'd be totally okay with the latter. You're amazing and I love you. Please think about it. I've barely been able to function for the past few weeks, you know, living without you. I just love you so much, Clare, and I hope that you still love me too." When he finished talking, Eli started walking away, just waiting for Clare to call out his name.

She didn't.

So, he went through the rest of the day miserable, just wishing that he could die so this would all be over. So this pining after Clare would all be over. So this living without Clare would be over. But he didn't, and it wasn't.

Eli decided not to take Morty home today, he just wanted to walk. He wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet, and try to get his mind off the beautiful Clare Edwards. But that wasn't really working out for him, because the only thing that seemed to occupy his mind were those beautiful big pale blue eyes, or those short, soft, auburn curls. God, he wanted to hold her so much it made him sick.

When Eli arrived to his house, he ignored his Mom's questions about his day. He ignored her pleas of trying to get him to talk to her. He just grabbed a cold piece of pizza out of the refrigerator, and stalked upstairs to his room. He got to the door and sighed, before opening it and seeing one big pair of blue eyes staring up at him.

Eli's POV

"Clare?" I asked, almost not able to believe my eyes. "What are you doing here? I mean, not that I don't want you here, believe me, I do, I just wasn't expecting you. I didn't know you were coming." I was rambling like a complete idiot, but, honestly, I didn't give a shit. Clare was standing in my room, and she looked like she actually wanted to speak to me. That was definitely an improvement from this morning, when she was being so harsh on me.

"Eli, I came here because I love you, you idiot. I didn't stop feeling that way just because we broke up. I still love you, and, even though I'm upset with you because of what you did to me, well, I still want to be with you. You're just going to have to be _super_ nice from now on." She borrowed one of my smirks, which looked lovely on her face, and then it switched to a smile. Well, that was enough permission for me.

I walked towards her with such eagerness, and crashed my lips to hers. I wasted no time moving my lips to her neck, her stomach, and then lower and lower. Somehow, we were so overcome with passion and love, that, neither of us could stop. Neither of us _wanted _to stop. We were so in love, and, after a few more moments, we really portrayed our love in the best way possible: by making love.

So, to this day, Clare Edwards is the love of my life. She's funny, smart, talented, and truly the most beautiful girl you will ever meet. She makes her living as a book editor, and I make my living writing novels. Well, I practically made enough money for the both of us in eight lifetimes with one particular novel. It was a story about a girl, named Clary, who found, and truly saved, a lost boy named Ethan.

There's a reason that book sold so many copies: Everyone loves a happy ending. And that's exactly what we have. Clare, me, and a lifetime forever. The ideal happy ending.


End file.
